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| i finally have an interview! my job search has mostly consisted of sending out cover letters/resumes and either never hearing anything back or getting the "you're qualified but not what we're looking for" e-mail. but i am actually going to an interview tomorrow. for a job i am interested in. and not only is this a job i am interested in, but it relates to my gender studies degree. how cool is that? it's only part-time, but that's better than unemployment. especially since mom is threatening to cut me off because i don't talk to her, so she thinks i never apply for jobs and am just sitting around my apartment doing nothing. she also claims that every time she calls me i am out with friends. the last time she called and i was actually doing something was in august. she has definitely called since then. i rarely go out. especially since most of my friends are still in school and are a lot busier than they were during the summer. and the last bout of the season was earlier this month, so i'm not even guaranteed to go out once a month anymore. but this claim is also funny because at the same time, she is saying that i never go out because some guy shoved his hand in my pants while i was out one night in france. incidentally, this is also why she thinks i like girls. i am afraid of men and surrounding myself with lesbians makes me feel safe. no. that assault and the sometimes not so subtle french racism made me uncomfortable around black men, but i got over that. i hang out with a lot of lesbians because that's who i met in gender studies and i feel a lot closer to gender studies kids than theatre kids anymore because that's where my interests are. and i guess i've always kind of liked girls. i remember watching the mary martin version of peter pan because i had a crush on tiger lily and i liked the idea of a woman in men's clothing. i talked myself into a lot of crushes on boys because i thought i should like someone and that was the norm. honestly, until about a year ago, with one minor exception freshman year of high school, i had no real interest in anyone. that struck me as odd, so i would convince myself that i had a crush on some guy to feel less left out.
so a lot of things could be cleared up if i were to actually speak to my mother. but bitch doesn't need to know about my life so i'm not telling her this.
dad, on the other hand is awesome. i went to a reading for a book about queer youths in rural america right before the last time i went home. i was talking to him about it and his response was "what could you possibly relate to in that book? you grew up in a city; you grew up in bluffton." then he laughed his little smartass laugh because he's awesome. and i like that he mentions the movie whip it everytime i say something about roller derby.
but anyway. interview tomorrow! early in the morning. so i should probably start going to bed now.
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| apparently i haven't written in here since may. oops. i keep forgetting that i have this and when i remember i don't really have anything to say. this summer has been rather uneventful. until now. i'm going on a cross country roadtrip with little notice. it seems that the summer after undergrad is an appropriate time to do that. also, jon is taking mom and dad's van back to san diego to move a bunch of his stuff that is still at their house (he's been in san diego for almost two years now) and i have to go with him to bring the van back. so i'm taking a roadtrip. i think jon wanted to be leaving already, but i volunteer for the roller derby and there's a bout on saturday so i need to be here to sell tickets at the bout. i also need to start making some mixes to take on the road trip since the van does not have a thing to plug the l'ipod into. and i am not listening to jon's music the entire drive out. and since i got the l'ipod, i don't have the most current music on cd. like those dancing days. i don't think i can survive this trip without those dancing days.
i have been kind of social lately. i have friends! a couple of us are planning on taking the gre together. i'm planning on going for a phd in gender studies. when i was writing my knowledge and sex midterm last semester, i realized that i was having fun writing it. which really weirded me out at first. but then it got less weird and i started thinking about teaching and research. i think i could be happy as a gender studies prof. it's kind of crazy because i never thought about it before. but i think it could work. and i think i would be a cool prof. i am looking at schools, but the phd program here is my favorite so far. even if i end up staying in bloomington, i'm moving out of this apartment in a year. i want a puppy and i can't have one here. also, if i'm going to grad school, i definitely need a puppy to help me through.
*update*
mom doesn't want me driving cross country alone because i'm a girl. let's forget the fact that i'm 22, spent a year in france, and graduated with a BA in gender studies. in what way is this not offensive? she pisses me off so much. so the trip is postponed until labor day weekend. if i don't find someone to go with me, dad is going. i can't even think about talking to them right now. and i know this is all mom. even though i've only ever talked to dad and jon about the trip and dad is the one who told jon that i'm not going. i know mom is behind this.
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| i learned some interesting things. now i'm really glad to have heard about that punch (i just got the full story). i see no problem with non-exclusivity because it's not like there was anything serious going on. but shouldn't the other party/parties know about it? and then don't you think it's a bad idea to hang out together with all three people you may or may not be seeing? maybe i will volunteer to help out with the roller derby this summer. just to make things awkward. it might not be fun for you, but it would be fun for me.
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| i feel like i should update this more. but i really like twitter because there's no pressure to write much seeing as how you can only write 140 characters at a time.
anyway. one week of class left and my only finals week obligations are both on 5 may. and then i'm done. in the next week, i have a postdramatic scene and short research paper on postdramatic theatre due plus a directing final (although i didn't have to go to that horrible class on my birthday so that was nice), a take-home final that consists of two essays, and a 25 minute group presentation which we haven't really done much work on yet. it's going to be a busy week. but i'm completely done in a week and a half. and then what am i doing? who knows? finding some job for at least a year because i renewed my lease during that very brief period where i was employed. yeah. i washed dishes for a half a day at bloomingfoods and then, instead of giving me any sort of feedback like "hey, you need to speed it up" they said "i don't think this is a good fit for you. why don't you go home." not embarrassing at all since that is where i do my grocery shopping. on the bright side, i'm broke, so i haven't been grocery shopping weekly.
i kind of have a social life. sometimes. i went to uncle e's for a drag show with one of the girls from queer theory tonight. that was fun. after a couple drinks, she told me about a conversation she had with another girl in our class about how they both find my breasts distracting. that was a little awkward but hilarious. it's nice to know that others appreciate my breasts.
that's pretty much my life right now. graduation is coming up and i have no idea what exactly i'll be doing after that. maybe grad school eventually. mom seems to be discouraging that idea and saying that i should open a bakery because that's what i really love and gender studies is just something i like. because she knows my feelings better than i do. not at all. she's also trying to convince me to try to find a job teaching english in france. because i tolerate children well.
i should probably go to bed now so that i can get up and do work tomorrow. i fully intend to figure out what the hell postdramatic theatre is and what i'm doing for my scene and possibly get one of the knowledge and sex essays done tomorrow. i will be productive instead of watching my so-called life. even though jared leto is really pretty and i hate directing so i don't want to do the homework.
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| i just realized that it's two weeks until my birthday. fancy that. perhaps i should find something not anti-social to do this year. last year i was in prague with andrea, but we stayed in and drank beer and watched gossip girl. that's the kind of 21st birthday story you don't usually hear.
in other news, i'm totally psyched for my copy of pride and prejudice and zombies to get here.
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